Flight and Last Day (June 22nd-23rd)

Got up early Sunday morning to catch breakfast and say goodbye to Katie D., who was leaving early to go to Church in Dar. There weren't too many people still at the main base because they were either in Zanzibar or they had left the previous day or week. Steph and Chelsea chose to attend church locally in Bagamoyo, so they left pretty early after breakfast. I packed a bit then headed to the beach with Caroline and Rebecca (one of Juli's volleyball friends). Since we were going to Millenium, I stopped in at the internet cafe, intending on only staying for a bit. Victor was up (it was 2am there) and I ended up staying 1.5 hours.... that's 3000 Tsh down the drain. He told me he missed me, without provocation, which made me swoon a little given his lack of emotionality. The conversation turned a bit sour when I brought up the fact that I thought time apart had allowed me to heal a bit and stop my stalking tendencies ( I used to check his phone, email and see who wrote on his wall... often interrogating him about it afterwards- I know, I know). He responded with " I hate it when you pull that Big Brother shit. It bothers me more than I let on." I didn't even know what to say because he had never expressed those feelings to me, though I was sure he felt them. I left after an hour and a half, feeling uneasy, but wanting to enjoy my last day in Bagamoyo. I went and lied down by Juli and Caroline, listening to Caroline's stories of sorority life at University of Illinois. There were some amusing stories about a crazy girl whose mother called, threatening to sue the sorority house. It was 11:30 and I was now covered in sunscreen with a nice topping of sand I thought it best to go home and shower. I chatted with Rebecca as we walked back, mostly about bargaining, and how crucial it is to do so even if the prices are rather cheap in comparison to what one would pay in the US- it sets the standard price that they will charge mzungus in the future. I took my last cold shower, using nice tea tree oil shampoo and conditioner that Katie H. had left behind. The kitchen staff made lunch early because I was leaving. Juli also wrote on our white board "WE <3 CLAUDIA". We all hugged to say good bye and Chels refused to let go of me. I almost cried, but didn't want to make the moment sad. Shume was outside and I assured her that we would meet again and her sister had my contact information anyway, so contact would be easy. Juli chased the car to the intersection with the main road, all the while telling me that I wasn't leaving.

In the car, as we pulled onto the main road it finally hit me that I was leaving and, more than likely, never coming back, or at least not coming back for quite a while. My eyes teared up a bit, but I guess Didas could sense it, because he started to talk to me, even though we had only spoken a handful of times before. Such is the Tanzanian way. We talked about random things, like the differences between American and Tanzanian culture... they are always highly amused when you tell them that no one says hi to each other in the streets, especially in New York City. There are these random road blocks in the street that say "Stop" on them... but we've never stopped at them... and apparently it marks the line between Dar Es Salaam district and Bagamoyo district... so theoretically they should prevent criminals from fleeing Dar... which I highly doubt. He left me at the airport, followed by an awkward hug. To spend some more shillings I bought enamel rings I liked, inlcuding extras for friends and my sister. I didn't really have any problems with checking in, etc. and our flight began to leave early, something that has been typical of Dar es Salaam... ironically enough.

I began to talk to the man sitting next to me, who happened to be German... so we tried a little auf Deutsch... then switched back to English to discuss complicated developmental issues. He worked for a German IT NGO, which had sent him to tanzania four years ago to help develop IT and computer infrastructure. He was also working with companies to develop cheap solar powered lamps so that towns with out power wouldn't be without light after dark. (They have only been able to get the price down to 50,000 Tsh (~$35), well outside most people's range). He talked about how there was very little progress, as people just pocketed the money and since there was no accountability, continued to do so. We talked about Tz and Kenya, who are in similar situations economically and developmentally. He noted that Kenya is actually regressing, especially since Kibaki was first elected, while the one thing Tanzania has on its side is that it is a favorite nation for donors. Most people do not view Kenya as undeveloped as Tanzania is, so they are more likely to donate more money to Tanzania than Kenya and will continue to do so in the future. We talked for about the first two hours, and then ate/watched movies. I chose Definitely, Maybe and it was really cute. I then had a two hour layover in Dubai. Let me tell you- it is the nicest airport I have ever seen. I changed my clothes and freshened up a bit in preparation for my 15 hour flight to JFK. Nicest airport bathroom I've ever seen too... they had toilet seat cleaner in a pump and a shower head on a hose... i guess in case you wanted to really freshen up. Off to shop. Dubai Airport basically has a duty free mall in the bottom floor, so I took advantage of that, buying YSL stuff for my mom, german chocolates for me and my dad, and a book on african post-colonial history. I checked in early to my JFK flight, and good thing, because it boarded early and quickly as well.

For those of you who haven't flown internationally before, you would be pleasantly surprised to find that there is more leg room and space overall... granted it's all relative. Just google "business class emirates" to see the most amazing airplane seat ever. I was able to stay awake for a bit, but basically passed out, missing the first meal and drinks. I was able to sleep for about 4 hours, which is pretty good for me. I then watched the Office, My Boys, Rugby, and Salaam E-Ishq (bollywood). I purposely chose the longest Bollywood movie that I could find, so I was able to entertain myself until about an hour before landing. I spoke a bit to the couple next to me, who had been in Afghanistan and Dubai and were on their way back to Ohio. We landed about 15 minutes late and proceeded to customs. I can't say that it was altogether comforting that I was essentially shooed through with no questions other than what was in my duty free bag (chocolates). I guess I don't look threatening... even though I was coming from somewhere in the Middle East.

It was a bit strange to get into a cushy vehicle, on a paved road... and where did my parents take me first? The Mall at Short Hills... because my dad had to return something. I ended up buying two pairs of sandals so now I'm all set for the rest of the summer shoe wise... but I don't think I'll be buying much for a while. My parents asked me about my experience in Tanzania... and I could only say it was overwhelming, eye-opening. Much of what I experienced may seem to have changed my viewpoint to a negative one, but instead I just see it as finally seeing the reality. Much work still needs to be done, and what I have done may have an individual impact, but practically no long term effects. Seeing how NGO's largely work, I have instead come to believe that more investment in microcredit and microfinance is the only way to solve the basic problem: those who need money have no way of obtaining it. Yes, NGO's do make a difference, but when an organization like ActionAID gives a computer to a town where no one knows how to use it, what good is that in the long run? The computer sat there for 2 years, largely unused until I came and taught them how to turn it on and use the mouse. I don't advocate not contributing to NGO's, but I would urge greater investment in microcredit/microfinance. You can either give a man a fish or teach him how to fish. So give him a few fish to get him through and give him hope, but teach him how to fish in the meantime as well.

I must admit that coming back was very difficult, because I felt upset with the way that I live and how blissfully ignorant I was. My first two days were a bit depressing and some people could hear it in my voice or how I chatted via AIM. Right now I can't do very much to help because I don't have the economic means to do so, so I feel helpless and angry because of my position. The anger is fading a little bit because, like I told my students, change does not happen overnight. It takes quite a long time and one must be patient. Well, I think that's about it. Hope you've enjoyed and this has offered a little insight into what my Tanzanian experience was like.

<3 ckp